One Good Thing This Week
This past week, I spent some time in Montana. I was afforded the opportunity to get away and disconnect (though, at times, I did not do a great job of disconnecting). The time was rich. The fellowship was deep. The food was spectacular (Thank you, Maurice)! Big take-a-way:
Fly fishing may be my favorite pastime. I fished the Clark Fork (named after the spot where Lewis and Clark separated). I had prayed the night before for a big haul (no shame), and God responded. I've always imagined myself as one of His favorite children! I landed ten whitefish & a few trout.
I was sharing with my mentor how much I love fly fishing, and he gave me some really good insight: I love fly fishing because I have to concentrate on one thing—my brain has to focus on fishing. Bracing yourself in the current, repetitive 10 & 2 castings, laser-like focus as you follow the fly, waiting for it to be submerged, and then the quick, subtle precision it takes to set the hook. All of that took all of me, all of my attention. No worries. No distractions, doing my best Brad Pitt, as I make my way down the river.
I am constantly getting pulled in a thousand different directions; it was nice for once to be headed in one direction—downstream.
I was reminded of something James Clear said, "Focus is the art of knowing what to ignore…" [more on Montana next week]
“Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.” — Aesop
One Concerning Thing This Week
My three-year-old son [soon to be four] was kicked out of his Pre-K school this week. When my wife asked why, the school replied, “We have too many students, and though we love Oliver, who is highly intelligent [this is a soft compliment, a tactic used to soften the blow that’s about to come], he has trouble regulating himself.” And by regulate, they meant he refuses to take naps, struggles to pay attention, et cetera…
Truth: I am 42 years old, and I have trouble 'regulating' myself. The reality is that many of our systems, especially our educational systems, are designed to crush the spirit of boys—little boys, in particular. Today, for every 100 girls,
• 145 boys who repeat kindergarten
• 168 boys with communication disorders
• 180 boys who abuse drugs and alcohol
• 207 boys classified as having a learning disability
• 318 boys who die by overdose
• 237 boys diagnosed with ADHD
• 240 boys suspended from school
• 291 boys expelled from school
• 355 boys in public schools classified with emotional disturbance
The darkest side of these statistics: boys over 14 are 4x more likely to die by suicide.
Here is an encouragement to all my friends who teach, be it Sunday school, public school, private school, or home school: let boys be boys. Four-year-olds don’t need naps; they need adventure. Culture wants to turn our young men into pacifists when what we need are pirates.
Boys are wired for trouble. Let’s direct them toward good trouble.
My son was kicked out of preschool this week, and I’m kind’a proud.
“Regulators. We regulate any stealin' of his property. We're damn good too. But you can't be any geek off the street. You gotta be handy with the steel, if you know what I mean. Earn your keep. Regulators, mount up!”
My 3 Favorite Quotes of the Week
"Evil preaches tolerance until it is dominant, then it tries to silence good." — Archbishop Charles J. Chaput
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." — Margaret Thatcher
"Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first." — Steve Irwin
Stat(s) I Found Fascinating [And Alarming] This Week
Brothers, there is a huge gap in [generational] religious membership, and the gap is most pronounced amongst my black brothers. Older black men, WAKE UP. The faith is not being handed down to an entire generation of younger black men. We must do better. Ruthlessly engage.
My Favorite Meme This Week:
Song I had on Repeat This Week
Best singer-songwriter you’ve probably never heard of…
“You’re still my girl in the bad days…”
Book(s) I Read This Week
Alright, Driscoll is back. Love him or hate him, Mark was instrumental in shaping my faith, and I will forever be grateful for him. He’s not perfect, but man, he can teach, write, and bring clarity to a world full of chaos. Every young man should read his new book, Act Like a Man. And if you are not familiar with Mark, here are a few quotes to prime your pump:
"Study the Bible like a soldier on a mission, not a scholar on a sabbatical."
"If you really want to be a rebel get a job, cut your grass, read your bible, and shut up. Because no one is doing that."
"Stop looking for the path of least resistance and start running down the path of greatest glory to God and good to others, because that's what Jesus, the Real Man, did."
"We're not to follow our hearts, we're to guard our hearts."
"Truthless times need timeless truths."
FYI - I am not doing a deep dive on purpose. I’d love to hear your thoughts on his book. Believe it or not, this is his first book on manhood. Hit me up at charper@betterman.com
Video I Watched This Week
"Look down… go to work."
What God Showed Me This Week
"The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wills." — Proverbs 21:1
I learned this week that Seth MacFarlane, the 'Family Guy' creator, missed Flight 11 on September 11, 2001. Why? He was hungover from going too hard the night before. Think about that... A night of overindulgence and sin saved him from certain death.
God is incredible; though He does not cause or approve of sin, He can and will use it for His purposes and glory.
The sin of Joseph's brothers led to Egypt's [and Israel's] salvation.
David's adultery brought us Psalms of repentance.
Peter's denial fueled Pentecost's fire.
Your failures aren't final in God's economy, and your sins aren't stronger than grace. I read this week,
Your detours might be divine, so the next time you fall:
1. Repent hard
2. Get up fast
3. Watch for God's redirect
Our God is in the business of redeeming wrong turns.
"When your repentance is more notorious than your sin, you are okay..." — Dr. Hershel York
And, Seth, if you’re reading this, God spared your life. It was not luck, it was not coincidence. God spared your life. Why your life and not others, I do not know. At the very least, I pray this week was a reminder of His sovereignty. You might want to think about giving your life to the One who not only created it but spared it.
I hope you have a spectacular week. May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Love y’all,
—Harp
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Continuing to lift you up to the Lord! You are a blessing, and it is an honor to be able to call you a friend! Stay faithful and obedient, brother, we have giants to slay!
Welcome to the Club Oliver, you’re a quick study and it bodes well for your future. It took me longer to earn that badge.