Expectations & Excuses — Part II

Raise the Bar

"You can raise the bar or you can wait for others to raise it, but it’s getting raised regardless." — Seth Godin

Our grandparents delivered. Without podcasts. Without devotionals. Without leadership conferences. They made it. They did what needed to be done. Because back then, duty wasn’t a dirty word. It was the backbone of character.

Somewhere along the way, we replaced duty with dialogue. We’ve substituted doing for discussing. But having good intentions is not the same as having integrity. We’ve created a culture that rewards emotion and intensity over execution. We praise a 'good effort' instead of results. We hand out participation trophies and then wonder why no one is growing stronger.

I see it everywhere, especially in the church. My pet peeve is thanking people for coming to church... "We’re so glad you’re here..." "We are so thankful you decided to join us today." "We can’t tell you how much we appreciate you being here. If you’re new, we have a gift for you in the lobby." I heard one pastor stop just shy of begging people to come back the next week... This is the product of a desperate culture peddling soft language. We call it hospitality. It’s not. Your pastor should not thank you for coming to church. It’s your duty. More so, it should be your delight. I can’t wait to fellowship with the saints. They need me and I need them [1 Cor. 12]. The expectation is that I/we will be there.

This is what happens when we tell men that “trying” is enough. It’s not enough. At some point, you have to deliver. You have to engage and go deeper. Trying without follow-through isn’t obedience. It’s theater. Spiritual maturity requires movement. Faith without works is dead [James 2:17]. God never asked for our excuses. He asked for our obedience.

Our fathers and grandfathers built nations, communities, and homes with blood, sweat, and calloused hands. We, on the other hand, create content.

They built legacies. We build platforms.

They worked. We 'reflect.'

God has not changed. God’s design for manhood is not soft, not optional, not theoretical. It’s rooted in responsibility, action, and obedience. At some point, a man has to stop explaining why he’s not doing what God clearly called him to do and just start doing it.

---

Brothers, this is key: it is not that men can’t or won’t meet expectations; it’s that we stopped giving them any. Every boy becomes a man through expectation. Someone tells him, "You can do this," and "You must do this." Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go..." That word train [chanak] doesn’t mean suggest. It means 'to narrow.' To train is to define the path, to say, "This is who you are, and this is who you are not. This is what a man does, this is what he does not do." That’s not control. It is love with direction.

You can’t disciple anyone without expectation.

You can’t raise anyone without expectation.

You can’t love anyone without expectation.

When we expect nothing, we get nothing. It is the same principle in the gym, in marriage, and in faith: what isn’t challenged doesn’t change.

Excuses never built anything. Not a family. Not a church. Not a legacy. Nothing changes until we take ownership. No revival happens in a home or a church until someone says, "Enough. The excuses stop here."

---

The recovery of manhood begins with the return of the bar. Raise it again.

Stop celebrating the bare minimum.

Stop excusing delayed obedience as 'patience.'

Stop calling laziness 'rest.'

Set the bar high—for yourself, your sons, and the men you lead. A man grows in proportion to the expectations placed upon him. Lower the bar, and you’ll lower his soul.

If you lead men, don’t apologize for calling them higher. Expect them to show up, to repent, to pursue holiness. Expect them to keep their word, to give generously, to lead courageously.

When you set the bar high, you honor the image of God in them. You say, "You were built for more than this." Because they were. Because you were. Our culture doesn’t need more nice guys; it needs dependable men. Men who keep promises. Men who carry weight. Men who don’t fold when life gets heavy. Men who understand that grace doesn’t cancel expectations—it empowers them. The grace of God doesn’t whisper, "Do whatever you want." It declares, "Now go and live differently." Grace gives you what sin took away: the power to do what’s right, even when it’s hard.

---

You can’t fix the whole world. But you can start with your world. Set expectations again, in your home, your marriage, your circle of influence. Model responsibility:

Show up when it’s inconvenient.

Apologize when you’re wrong.

Serve when no one’s watching.

Give when it costs you something.

That’s where revival starts, not in big events, but in ordinary obedience. Men don’t drift into godliness. They walk into godliness, one obedient step at a time.

Three Challenges for the Week:

1. Reestablish Order in Your Home. Sit down with your wife and kids. Define what you expect of each other—spiritually, emotionally, practically. Keep it clear and consistent.

2. Eliminate One Excuse. Identify one area where you’ve been delaying obedience. Repent and take the next right step.

3. Call Another Man Higher. Text or call a friend and say what few people say anymore: "I expect more from you, and I believe you can do it."

The world doesn’t need more explanations. It needs examples. It needs men who take up their cross instead of their comfort. Men who fear God more than failure. Men who live with holy expectation again.

Expectations aren’t the problem. Excuses are. Raise the bar and watch how quickly men remember how to climb.

For the King,

— Harp

---