No Country For Men - Part II
We Can't Afford to Get This Wrong
I've received lots of feedback over the last 48 hours concerning Tuesday's post. For those who think I am being critical, I am not. I love Jesus' Bride [the local church]. The local church is the vehicle God has ordained to win the world. I am not critical of the church; I think critically about the church. And I think the church has missed the boat on men. Men have always held a special place in God's economy, a central place even. And when men are walking with God, everything gets better, which is why we must pursue men.
What could/should this look like?
1. Fear of Failure and Awkwardness
The Absence: Churches hesitate to launch men's ministry because they fear it won't work. Men are seen as resistant, disengaged, or awkward in small groups. Leaders assume, "Men won't show up. Men won't talk. Men won't commit." So, the result is paralysis—it is better to do nothing than to risk failure.
The Action: The truth is, men will respond if given a clear vision and a high call. Jesus called fishermen and tax collectors with two words: "Follow Me." Can you imagine the awkwardness: "Drop everything and follow me." Awkwardness has always been a part of discipleship; it's where iron begins to clash against iron. The church that refuses to risk awkwardness [and failure] also refuses to raise men. It would do us good to remember that there is also more power in Christ than awkwardness in men.
2. Low Expectations for Men
The Absence: In many churches, men are seen as functional tools—good for ushering, moving chairs, or writing checks—but not as future leaders, theologians, or disciple-makers. We keep men busy, but we don't build them up.
The Action: The New Testament vision is far higher. Paul tells men to "act like men, be strong" (1 Cor. 16:13). Elders, fathers, and workers are to model courage, sound doctrine, and holiness. A healthy men's ministry raises the bar, not lowers it. As C.S. Lewis put it, "We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise." No more. Men must be called to faithfulness, long obedience in the same direction, because the church and the next generation depend on it.
3. The "Family-First" Paradigm
The Absence: Churches rightly emphasize family and children's ministry, but often bypass the very men who are meant to lead those families. We've assumed that if we disciple wives and kids, men will tag along. Instead, we've produced homes where the head of the household is the least spiritually engaged.
The Action: Strong families begin with strong fathers. Scripture calls men to lead (Eph. 5:25–27). When men are discipled, families flourish. This is why the Puritans labored to equip fathers first: "A family is the seminary of the church and state," wrote William Gouge, "and the father is the chief theologian..." If the father is godly, the home becomes a little church; if he is weak, the home collapses. Family ministry begins with men's ministry.
4. Pastors Not Investing in Men
The Absence: Many pastors pour their energy into sermons, programs, or administration, but invest little in discipling men directly. Without the pastor's example, the church rarely takes men seriously.
The Action: Paul gave Timothy a simple charge: "What you have heard from me… entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also" (2 Tim. 2:2). This is a generational vision. A pastor who disciples a handful of men multiplies his ministry for decades. When pastors train men, they train the future.
5. Consumer Christianity
The Absence: Many churches train men to be passive consumers. Sit. Sing. Listen. Leave. Men become audience members, not soldiers. A faith of consumption never asks men to risk, sacrifice, or lead.
The Action: The biblical vision is one of warfare: "Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus" (2 Tim. 2:3). Men are called to fight, endure, and carry weight. A true men's ministry trains soldiers, not spectators. They are given a mission, not entertainment. They become participants in advancing the Kingdom, not customers of a weekly religious product.
6. The Cost of Real Brotherhood
The Absence: Churches often reduce men's ministry to safe events: breakfasts, sports outings, pancake feeds. These can be good entry points, but they rarely produce transformation. The deeper work—accountability, repentance, exhortation—is avoided because it is messy and uncomfortable.
The Action: Brotherhood is costly. It requires men to confess sin, to call each other out, to "stir one another up to love and good works" (Heb. 10:24). Men need fellowship forged by friction. True brotherhood feels less like a social club and more like a platoon, a space where loyalty, honesty, and sacrifice bind men together. Puritan Thomas Watson once wrote, "Godly friends are spiritual chariots, to carry us faster to heaven." That is the vision.
7. Satan Targets Men
The Absence: When men are left untrained, Satan has free range. He turns men into absent fathers, passive husbands, or destructive leaders. The collapse of male discipleship is the collapse of entire households, churches, and communities.
The Action: When men are discipled, they become watchmen on the walls (Ezek. 33:7). They resist the devil together, clothed in the armor of God (Eph. 6:10–18). They become generational protectors, standing in the gap for their families and churches. As John Knox declared, "Give me Scotland or I die." A discipled man says, "Give me my sons, give me my church, give me my city—or I die."
Brothers, the absence of men's ministry from the local church is not a neutral choice; it is a strategic defeat. If we don't disciple men, culture [and ultimately, Satan] will. If we don't raise them, the culture will deform them. If we don't give them clarity and expect faithfulness, confusion and passivity will destroy them. But when we call men to Christ, disciple them deeply, and bind them together in brotherhood, the whole church is strengthened. Marriages heal. Children thrive. Communities flourish. The Kingdom advances.
The shift and focus on men begins with building a Men's Ministry that will last. How do you do that?
Start Small, Think Generational
A pancake breakfast may feed men, but it won't sustain them. Start with 3–5 men you will personally disciple. Meet regularly, open the Word, pray, and talk honestly about sin and holiness. Remember Paul's model: "Entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also" (2 Tim. 2:2).
Action: Identify 3 men this week and invite them to a table, not a stage.
Cast a High & Holy Vision
Men don't need more activities. They need a cause. Preach, teach, and declare that biblical manhood is not optional; it's essential. It's warfare.
Hold up Scriptures like 1 Cor. 16:13 and Eph. 6:10–18. Let men see that their homes, churches, and cities rise or fall on whether they fight.
Action: Preach one sermon every quarter that directly calls men to spiritual battle.
Call Men to Lead Their Homes
Family ministry must start with fathers. Equip men to lead family worship, pray with their wives, and disciple their children. Give them tools, not just inspiration. Even simple guides (like a 10-minute family devotion outline) can transform homes.
Action: Host a regular "Fathers' Night" event where men can learn and practice leading their families.
Create Brotherhood, Not Just Events
Men need platoons, not potlucks. Events are fine, but the goal is ongoing, accountable brotherhood. Structure groups around confession, prayer, and Scripture, not just hobbies. Train leaders to press past surface-level talk into soul-shaping discipleship.
Action: Transition one existing men's group into a band of brothers with defined practices of accountability and Scripture engagement.
Train Men for War, Not Leisure
Men want a challenge. Don't coddle them with low expectations.
Train them in doctrine, spiritual disciplines, and evangelism. Give them weight to carry. As Puritan John Flavel wrote, "The Christian must not only be a diligent scholar, but a valiant soldier."
Action: Launch a "basic training" course for men, covering the Bible, prayer, holiness, and leadership. The BetterMan study is a tremendous [and free] tool.
Multiply Leaders, Not Consumers
Every man you disciple should be trained to disciple others. Shift the question from "How many men attended?" to "How many men are discipling other men?" Success is multiplication, not attendance.
Action: Ask each man you disciple to bring one younger brother into the process within the next six months.
Pray for a Men's Movement
No ministry survives without prayer. Pray for the Spirit to awaken men.
Gather a group of men early in the morning or late at night and cry out for revival among men. As E.M. Bounds said, "Men are God's method. The church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men."
Action: Start a weekly early-morning men's prayer meeting—small, gritty, consistent.
My encouragement: Don't wait for perfect conditions. Start with what you have. Don't settle for programs. Call men into battle. Don't aim for crowds. Aim for multiplication. If pastors and leaders lead in discipling men with courage and clarity, the church will rise.
For the King,
— Harp
When men rise, so does everything else. Families get stronger. Churches grow healthier. Communities are transformed. Discipling men in today’s culture requires more than good intentions—it necessitates a clear, biblical strategy and strong, humble men who are committed to walking it out.
Whether you lead a church, a men’s ministry, or simply want to see men flourish in your community, this one-day equipping event will sharpen your mission and ignite your next step.
When the British called for John Paul Jones to surrender, he answered, “I have not yet begun to fight."
Your two posts on men and the church made me think of Gideon and the army God commanded him to lead against the Midianites. God didn’t want Gideon to send 32,000 weak men into battle. He wanted 300 strong men.
Man has a long history of making less out of more. God always makes more out of less.
Since that is the case, shouldn’t a church focus more on training and less on recruitment? Better to equip 300 men and boast in the Lord, than recruit 30,000 men and boast in attendance.
Keep equipping the 300 brother Harp!