I'm reading through Ecclesiastes with a few brothers right now. And chapter 6 wrecked me this week. The Preacher reveals something we all feel but rarely admit: the pursuit of stuff is empty.
Confession: I love stuff. Shoes. Tech. Watches. Trucks. You name it. However, inevitably, my stuff leaves me feeling hollow.
The Divine Misordering
Here's what men typically do: we take God's good gifts, and we elevate the gift above the Giver of gifts. We misorder sex, money, strength, influence, adventure, sports, and so on... And when we do that—when we reverse the order—we rob the gift of its purpose and its pleasure.
"He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity." — Ecclesiastes 5:10
Solomon didn't theorize. He lived it.
Sex? He had 1,000 women. The pleasure wore off.
Money? He had "silver as common as stones." The thrill faded.
Power? He ruled with unmatched wisdom and might. But it felt futile.
"All the toil of man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied." — Ecclesiastes 6:7
Solomon's laments echo today:
It's the emptiness Tom Brady admitted after his third Super Bowl.
It's the silence on Christmas morning, after the frenzy of opened gifts.
It's the dissatisfaction two weeks after the raise, when your lifestyle inflates and joy doesn't.
It’s the haunting emptiness of life, event to event, toy to toy, amusement to amusement...
Running With The Devil
Satan doesn't need you to curse God, he needs you to disorder your loves. What if the Devil's most effective tactic is to get you to seek God second? Not deny God—just demote Him. Just put money first. Or sex. Or influence. Or your kid's travel team. Anything but the Kingdom. Anything but the Giver.
This isn't asceticism, it's alignment. When we seek the Kingdom first:
Sex becomes sacred, secure, and more soul-satisfying.
Money becomes lighter. No longer a master, but a tool and a blessing. It flows outward, not just inward. It multiplies joy, not anxiety.
Influence becomes fruitful. You're not building your brand—you're expanding God's territory. He who is faithful with little is given much.
The Puritans understood this. As Richard Sibbes once said: "It is not having the gifts, but loving the Giver, that makes us truly rich." Or as C.S. Lewis famously wrote: "Aim at heaven and you will get earth 'thrown in'; aim at earth and you will get neither."
A Better Aim
How do we re-order our loves? A few thoughts:
Name the gift you're most tempted to idolize—what good thing do you regularly place above God? Re-surrender it. Pray: "Lord, this is yours. Help me use it for Your glory, not my gratification."
Rehearse the Giver. Every time you enjoy the gift, pause and praise the Giver.
Build in boundaries. Don't trust yourself. Build habits that keep your soul anchored: Sabbath. Generosity. Silence. Fasting.
Aim higher. Don't lower your ambitions, elevate them. Don't aim for a bigger house, aim for a bigger Heaven. Don't aim for the applause of men, aim for "Well done, good and faithful servant."
You weren't made to chase shadows. You were made for the real thing, for God Himself. So enjoy the gifts. Just don't worship them. Order matters.
For the King,
— Harp
Speaking of disorder… when a church is too busy to raise godly men, it will spend all its time repairing what [broken] men break. Yet we keep running after children and women, frankly, because it’s easy.
All our energy and effort aimed at children’s ministry.
Time and treasure propping up women’s studies and events.
Sunday morning programming always at the forefront.
And the men? We exist, if we show up at all.
I recently attended a pastor’s equipping event. 1200+ pastors learning from different practitioners. Pages of Children's and Women's ministry breakouts to attend. Sandwiched between Discipleship and Singles ministry, one man stood alone, LOL.
For all you pastors and leaders that read this blog… You're targeting the wrong audience. Cater to the children and women, and you lose the men. Cater to the men, and you get everyone.
Across the country, every week, Home Depot hosts 'Ladies Night,' an after-hours store event where women can sign up to learn to use power tools. And all across the country, these events sell out. Why? because women love doing men's things.
Could you imagine JoAnne Fabrics across the street doing the same thing? 'Bedazzle with Your Bros' on Thursday night? Wouldn’t happen. Why? Because men hate doing women's things.
Yet, our churches are becoming increasingly feminine—increasingly kid-friendly. The aesthetics. The songs we sing. The words we use—all aimed at the emotions of a woman, while taming the hearts of men.
Brothers, win the men and you get everyone else. Continue catering to women and children, and you'll get what we have: weak men who might know God and strong men who don’t.
Speaking of order… check out this show w/Bill Eubanks, a man who got his priorities right…
Be sure to like and share!
I see you've been reading John Mark Comer lol. Dope.
Harp! You are preaching sir! We're getting ready to launch two BetterMan groups, one in my neighborhood (ShadowGlen, Manor, Texas) and one at a community college for college men including returning and nontraditional students. Once the men are positioned and aligned we can collectively be empowered to impact our communities.