One Good Thing This Week
The Western Church is waking up. The number of conversations I’ve had in the last few weeks, this week in particular, has been so encouraging. From Kentucky, to Oregon, to New York, I have had calls, Zooms, interactions with pastors and leaders of men who are turning the energy and attention of the local church back to men. And everyone is better for it. In the next three weeks, 10,000+ pastors and leaders of men will be gathering in Jackson MS, Salem OR, Columbia MO, and Chicago IL, locking arms, dreaming about what it means for men to lead out in their homes, churches, and communities.
We often say at BetterMan, "We are not winning men back to the Church, we are winning the Church back to men."
Brothers, I believe we are on the cusp of a moment. The Church will never rise above the commitment of its men. As my friend John Werst says, "The Bride is more beautiful when its men are more godly…" We win the hearts of men, we change the world. Two marks of a healthy church: crying babies and singing men.
This current and future generations of men are in need of two things: clarity & community. Clarity around what it means to be a real man, God’s man. And the community of like-hearted brothers to run with. Passivity is not the enemy. What we are facing is a lack of understanding. Darkness shrouded in ignorance. For two generations, boys have grown into men with no roadmap, no guide, no one to show them the way.
Pastors—give men clarity and community and your church will transform! Your community will change!
And listen brother! We are here to help. My team and I live for this stuff. We want to see all men be all that God has called them to be. We want men to courageously follow God’s Word. Love and protect God’s woman. Excel at God’s work. And better God’s world. We’ve got tools, resources, voices, and a listening ear. Let me know how we can help.
"In the 1970’s, predominant culture said, 'I don't need a man.' In the 1990’s, culture said, 'I don’t want a man.' Today we are asking, 'What is a man?'"
Something Beautiful This Week
It is beautiful when men encourage and boost other men.
Someone caught this conversation between Hurts and Smith, towards the end of Super Bowl LIX. Hurts had just dropped a dime on Smith, a 46-yard TD that put the game away for good.
What many might not remember is that Hurts and Smith won another Championship together: the NCAA Championship 7 years ago.
Smith caught the game-ending [winning] pass in that game as well, except it was thrown by Tua Tagovailoa, after Hurts had been benched.
Smith would go on to win the Heisman. Hurts would sit the bench one more year before transferring to Oklahoma, loosing the Heisman to Joe Burrows.
Smith became a top first round draft pick, producing for Philadelphia from day one. Hurts was taken in the second round, 53rd pick, where the Eagles buried him behind Carson Wentz.
As fate would have it, Smith nor Hurts took the same road to New Orleans. But they left the Big Easy together. They left as champions. As brothers.
Smitty’s love and belief in Jalen is beautiful. Men should be quick to encourage and boost other men…
One Concerning Thing This Week
The He Gets Us Super Bowl ad is catching heat. I’ve always been a fan of their campaigns. I have noticed, though, lately, they’ve been majoring on Jesus's therapeutic side.
Too often we [the Church] want to major on one side or the other—the Lion or the Lamb. Compassion or conviction. We forget that Jesus was ALWAYS both. He never divorced his Lion'ness from His Lamb'ness.
Jesus didn’t come so that people could feel good about themselves. He came so that dead people could be brought to life. It’s like C.S. Lewis said, "We don’t come to Jesus as good people wanting to be better. We come as rebels willing to lay down our arms." You cannot meet Jesus and be indifferent. You cannot meet Jesus and remain uniformed. Confronted with Jesus, you must decide, is He a liar? A lunatic? Or, is He Lord?
You cannot cling to Jesus and willingly cling to the old man of death. When you confess Jesus as Lord and Savior, He becomes just that, Lord and Savior. The process of transformation begins in that moment. When we welcome the compassion of Jesus, we welcome His convictions. His righteousness and His rule. His loving hands accompany His heart-cutting words: "go and sin no more…"
We do not become perfect overnight. In fact, this side of heaven, none of us will be perfect. But, over time, we progress, becoming more and more like him. Not all at the same pace. Not all at the same speed. But surely, steadily, we are being conformed into His likeness.
If any of the He Gets Us people read this, check out what my guy Jamie Bambrick created… phenomenal. Jesus has always been in the transformation business.
My 3 Favorite Quotes of the Week
"If the devil isn't fighting you—he's using you." — Anonymous
"No man is condemned for anything he has done: he is condemned for continuing to do wrong. He is condemned for not coming out of the darkness, for not coming to the light." — George McDonald
"Intensity is not a fruit of the spirit…" — Kent Evans
Stat(s) I Found Fascinating [Or Alarming] This Week
In 2008, there were 70M adults who self-reported attending religious services weekly. 45M adults never attended.
In 2023, weekly attenders were down to 64M—a drop of 6M. Never attenders were up to 86M—an increase of 41M.
Hot Take: Fewer people are attending church weekly, those who never go are increasing. I can’t help but think the de-prioritization of the in-person gathering (i.e.., online church, satellites campuses, et cetera) has helped fuel this.
Watching church on a screen is like eating gas station sushi. It might not kill you, but it is not the real thing. Go to church. See and be seen.
"Don’t allow the Internet to become your congregation. YouTube is a horrible place to go to church." — Albert Mohler
My Favorite Pic/Meme This Week
Greatest newspaper article. Ever. "I bust out."
Song I had on Repeat This Week
Been journeying with Sam Cooke this week. I should take this journey more often. What an incredible voice. Found this absolute classic…
Added bonus… Sam was once asked on a radio program to 'hum 8-bars of what soul represents…' Enjoy this:
"Sam Cooke is yours—he’ll never grow old."
Book(s) I Read This Week
Picked up the Quotable Lewis last week… incredible. What a gift. Wayne Martingale and Jerry Root, gathered all of Lewis’ writings, pulled his most profound and insightful sayings/quotes and categorized them. So good.
Need a word on on joy…
"Every joy is beyond all others. The fruit we are eating is always the best fruit of all." [Perelandra, Ch 6, p. 83]
Lust…
"The idea of female beauty is the erotic stimulus for women as well as for men… i.e., a lascivious man thinks about women’s bodies, a lascivious woman thinks about her own. What a world we live in." [Letters of C.S. Lewis, 10 June 1930, p. 141]
Loyalty…
"Our loyalty is due not to our species but to our God. It is spiritual, not biological, kinship that counts." [Religion and Rocketry, 1958, para. 15, p. 91]
An endless treasure of wisdom, humor, and life. Love this book.
What God Showed Me This Week
Genesis 11:31-32, "One day, Terah took his son Abram, his daughter-in-law Sarai (his son Abram’s wife), and his grandson Lot (his son Haran’s child) and moved away from Ur of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and settled there. Terah lived for 205 years and died while still in Haran."
I was reading Jon Tyson this week, and he pointed to something I had missed, though I have read it many times:
"Terah did something remarkable. He left Ur of the Chaldeans, a center of pagan worship, where the moon god Nanna (Sin) was venerated. Joshua 24:2 suggests that Terah himself likely participated in this idolatry before God called him out. His departure wasn’t just geographical; it was a break from a culture of idolatry and a step toward worshiping the one true God. But here’s the tragedy: he stopped short."
Abram wasn’t the first to set out for Canaan [the promised land]. His dad, Terah, was.
Terah set out for Canaan, but he settled in Haran instead. He died there, halfway to the promise, halfway to his calling.
I confess, there is a little 'Terah' in me, what theologians call the pattern of partial obedience. It is a pattern that repeats itself in the lives of so many men. Terah’s journey was real but incomplete. He heard the call but never finished the course. He stopped short.
Jon again,
"Haran, in a sense, became his halfway house, a place of partial reformation that substituted for full surrender. He exchanged one idolatrous city for another, just with a little more respectability.
That’s the real danger. Haran wasn’t a place of outright failure but of partial success. It was better than Ur, but “better than” isn’t the same as “arrived at.” This is what haunts me when I look at men today. We start strong. We hear a call. We take steps forward. But somewhere along the way, we stop.
Sometimes, pain slows us down, and sometimes, it’s exhaustion. But often, it’s success.
Terah’s story exposes the subtle seduction of comfort—of good enough. We can build impressive lives in Haran while Canaan remains untouched. In our time, Haran looks different, but it functions the same. It’s where we stop short of radical surrender and trade full transformation for a safer, more manageable faith. Haran is where we settle, not for outright rebellion but for a respectable faith that doesn’t cost too much."
I confess, often I leave my personal Ur, whether that’s poor habits, materialism, or selfish ambition, only to settle into a refined, comfortable version of the same thing. I keep moving, but only far enough to feel like I’ve changed.
Brothers, I don’t want what is better. I want what was promised. I don’t want a respectable religion. I want to overdo it—if wholehearted obedience is what it takes to deliver me from Haran, I want to overdo it.
This week I refuse to stop halfway.
I refuse to mistake respectability for transformation.
I refuse to trade a risky faith for a safe religion.
Here’s to overdoing it.
If you’re in these areas over the next few weeks, I’d love to connect:
Pacific Northwest Men’s Conference, Feb 22, Portland, OR
Iron Sharpens Iron Conference, March 1, Oakland Park [Chicago], IL
COMO Christian Men’s Conference, March 8, Columbia, MO
And don’t forget… On March 1, BetterMan is invading the great state of Mississippi!
Brothers, my pledge to you…
"You will never suffer at my hands. I will never say nor do anything knowingly to hurt you. If you're down and I can lift you up, I'll do that. I will always, in every circumstance, seek to help and support you. If you need something and I have it, I'll give it to you. No matter what I find out about you, no matter what happens in the future, either good or bad, my commitment to you will never change."
For the King,
—Harp
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I love my brother! The West End is the best end!
Wow, this goes along with an email I sent you. People are telling my to settle, don't go so big on the idea of a big men's rally in small town America.
Thanks for the words of encouragement.