Last night was an awesome night. I felt super connected to the family and to God, really trying to exemplify the servant’s heart of Jesus that He’s asking me to mimic. We’re on vacation with my wife’s family (two sisters and mom/dad and kiddos) and I have spent the last two nights cooking and cleaning and really going out of my way to serve and love. And I started to feel unnoticed. I know they are busy and enjoying time with the family but it felt like I was falling into an expected roll and got a bit exhausted. My 14 yo son in the meantime has been basically babysitting his little cousins who are…energetic…and all he’s hoping for was some time to spend with me. Instead, I blew up at him as we went to bed when he expressed some sadness of missing his friends at home. I wanted him to be grateful for vacation. (Which he is, but I fully projected my own selfishness on to his confession). He’s not looking for a dad to make dinner and clean, he’s looking for a dad to look him in the eyes, see him, and simply spend time with him. I went to bed totally defeated. Yes, God is asking me to have a servant’s heart, but I never once confessed ANYTHING as the pressure started to build up. Not only that, I believe I’ve missed a large part of what serving my son actually looks like. Thank you Harp for this awesome lesson and reminder of what confession actually looks like. Timely to say the least.
I have been very busy with a larger than normal workload, having to take some of the housework typical to my wife on myself as her job has mandated extra work time, each kids is involved in something, trying to continue to be the servant at my church, planning, praying and prepping for a men’s conference in May (which I feel extremely ill-prepared for and under-qualified to run) and not enough time in the day, while also running a non-profit organizing donations and trucks to take supplies to Western North Carolina where my family lives running a distribution center to survivors of Hurricane Helene. It is a lot, but I don’t believe the Lord has released me from any one thing, and gives me a renewed sense of purpose and energy each day for the things He has called me to. However, today I realized the toll it has taken on me emotionally and spiritually. We are organizing bills due to some surgeries for our kids last year that have buried us in bills. I thought I had it lined out, then my loving bride asks why I didn’t take care of one of the bills that she asked me to. I didn’t remember her saying it, I really thought hard and couldn’t come up with it, so I stated that I didn’t know about it. She responded a little sternly that she had reminded me about it. I insisted not and we had it out. Each of us sure of our position. Then she shows me the messages that back up her side.
The kids were being loud, we are both tired, we have missed important time to just “be” together, the trash didn’t get taken out and we hear the garbage truck coming up the road, we are not packed for the weekend at the youth fall retreat we have to be at this weekend, etc and I blew up. She blew up. We gave each other a reason to have a bad day. And it happened on my watch.
Had I listened to her previously, or this morning, we would have seen that I missed something and taken care of it. It’s not the big things, it’s all the small confessions, speaking truth into my wife instead of proving that I was right. What did I gain? Instant regret and a wife who is now defeated even though she “won”.
Speak the little truths to your kids, your wife, and yourself, I promise His word will not return void.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
James 1:19-20
I feel like I should get that tattooed on me somewhere. It's always a passage that convicts, repurposes, and let's me know I have not arrived. Lord, help us. Thank you for your transparency—we're in this together.
Last night was an awesome night. I felt super connected to the family and to God, really trying to exemplify the servant’s heart of Jesus that He’s asking me to mimic. We’re on vacation with my wife’s family (two sisters and mom/dad and kiddos) and I have spent the last two nights cooking and cleaning and really going out of my way to serve and love. And I started to feel unnoticed. I know they are busy and enjoying time with the family but it felt like I was falling into an expected roll and got a bit exhausted. My 14 yo son in the meantime has been basically babysitting his little cousins who are…energetic…and all he’s hoping for was some time to spend with me. Instead, I blew up at him as we went to bed when he expressed some sadness of missing his friends at home. I wanted him to be grateful for vacation. (Which he is, but I fully projected my own selfishness on to his confession). He’s not looking for a dad to make dinner and clean, he’s looking for a dad to look him in the eyes, see him, and simply spend time with him. I went to bed totally defeated. Yes, God is asking me to have a servant’s heart, but I never once confessed ANYTHING as the pressure started to build up. Not only that, I believe I’ve missed a large part of what serving my son actually looks like. Thank you Harp for this awesome lesson and reminder of what confession actually looks like. Timely to say the least.
I have been very busy with a larger than normal workload, having to take some of the housework typical to my wife on myself as her job has mandated extra work time, each kids is involved in something, trying to continue to be the servant at my church, planning, praying and prepping for a men’s conference in May (which I feel extremely ill-prepared for and under-qualified to run) and not enough time in the day, while also running a non-profit organizing donations and trucks to take supplies to Western North Carolina where my family lives running a distribution center to survivors of Hurricane Helene. It is a lot, but I don’t believe the Lord has released me from any one thing, and gives me a renewed sense of purpose and energy each day for the things He has called me to. However, today I realized the toll it has taken on me emotionally and spiritually. We are organizing bills due to some surgeries for our kids last year that have buried us in bills. I thought I had it lined out, then my loving bride asks why I didn’t take care of one of the bills that she asked me to. I didn’t remember her saying it, I really thought hard and couldn’t come up with it, so I stated that I didn’t know about it. She responded a little sternly that she had reminded me about it. I insisted not and we had it out. Each of us sure of our position. Then she shows me the messages that back up her side.
The kids were being loud, we are both tired, we have missed important time to just “be” together, the trash didn’t get taken out and we hear the garbage truck coming up the road, we are not packed for the weekend at the youth fall retreat we have to be at this weekend, etc and I blew up. She blew up. We gave each other a reason to have a bad day. And it happened on my watch.
Had I listened to her previously, or this morning, we would have seen that I missed something and taken care of it. It’s not the big things, it’s all the small confessions, speaking truth into my wife instead of proving that I was right. What did I gain? Instant regret and a wife who is now defeated even though she “won”.
Speak the little truths to your kids, your wife, and yourself, I promise His word will not return void.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
James 1:19-20
I feel like I should get that tattooed on me somewhere. It's always a passage that convicts, repurposes, and let's me know I have not arrived. Lord, help us. Thank you for your transparency—we're in this together.